BLADE RUNNER

If I were a movie critic I would have a heck of a hard time writing about Blade Runner... luckily (or not) I’m not, so it’s with great relief that I am going to tell you that yes, I did see the uncut/recut/botoxed just released version of the cult movie that almost changed my life and I don’t have to peel it for the reader. I am just glad I saw it rather than National treasure, a disaster that the studios keep pushing for an unknown reason. I think I’ve seen the previews for this movie for the last two years. It’s so lame that I am sure that people who are offered to watch the movie for free just plain refuse to go (unless they have some business to attend in the dark). The preview itself is painful to watch. It’s a little bit like listening to a child telling you about an adventure he had in a dream: unless it’s your kid telling the story, you just want it to stop as soon as it started. It’s called the “Cinderella syndrome” (I made it up, don’t look for it) after another disaster called the “Cinderella man” that very few people wanted to see in spite of many efforts and campaigns led by the studios. I thought the title of the movie was a curse from the beginning. Cinderella man ? Who came up with such a bright title? I mean, the movie is with Russell Crowe... What is the first image that comes to mind when you put together Cinderella and Russell Crowe? I’m not sure I want to know. I don’t care that it’s a feel good movie with great values and great actors, when I hear Cinderella I see a wicked stepmother and a cartoonish version of Pretty woman for toddlers. When I hear Russell Crowe, I don’t particularly see a shy abused orphan soon to be morphed into a princess... sorry ! Besides (but that’s me) a feel good movie makes me sick in principle. I know what it is trying to do and I despise that with a passion, almost as much as I despise the kind of movies “inspired by a true story” or that involve any kind of little fishing or farming village where people -good people- have a problem with a doctor, a post office, a shoe factory, an unemployment crisis and end up making a calendar, baking cookies or selling expired coupons on the sidewalk. Yes, I despise these movies and more. Blade Runner, I like. First: there is Harrison Ford. Second: there is Harrison Ford. OK, enough of that ! Third: it’s a visionary story (dixit Scott) and visionary movie full of clues and riddles that people could spend a lifetime deciphering. Pretty much like a jigsaw puzzle. Is the Blade runner a replicant? You tell me. I don’t know. I think he is but then... Fourth: the movie is almost BC (before computers) but it aged better than any Matrix movie ever will. Now and for minus one: Vangelis music which hurts. Minus two : no electric sheep. Don’t miss!


Si j’étais critique de cinéma, je redouterai d’avoir à écrire sur Blade Runner, mais comme ce n’est pas le cas... Alors oui, j’ai vu la version remaniée/rallongée/botoxée du film qui a presque changé ma vie et je suis ravie de ne pas avoir à en parler. Je suis juste ravie d’avoir vu ce film et pas National treasure, un désastre que les studios m’arrêtent pas de promouvoir depuis au moins un an et pour une raison inconnue. Je pense avoir vu les bandes-annonces pour ce film des dizaines de fois et chaque fois, je m’ennuie à mourir, compte les moutons et je me demande pourquoi une telle ânerie. J’appelle ça le syndrome de Cinderella man, d’après le film du même nom et du même non. Tout d’abord on peut se demander quel génie a trouvé un titre aussi ridicule pour un film. Cinderella man ? Le film est avec Russell Crowe... Je doute fort que les deux images Cendrillon et Russel Crowe cohabitent en harmonie. Autant essayer d’associer Blanche neige et Mel Gibson, Le chaperon rouge et George Clooney, non, vraiment ! Peu importe qu’il s’agisse d’un film porteur de bons sentiments (yuk) quand j’entends Cendrillon, je vois marâtre et une version cartoon de Pretty woman pour moins de 5 ans. Et quand j’entends Russell Crowe, je n’imagine pas vraiment une princesse en bas bleus. En outre, je déteste les films avec de bons sentiments ! Dès que j’entends “inspiré de faits réels” ou bien “dans le petit village de Perpette les oies” j’arrête d’écouter et surtout de regarder la guimauve qui envahit l’écran. Blade Runner, j’aime. Un: Il y a Harrison Ford. Deux: il y a Harrison Ford. OK, ça suffit ! Trois: il s’agit d’une histoire fantastique basé sur un livre encore plus fantastique (m'assure Scott) plein d’indices et d’énigmes et fait d’autant de pièces que le plus diabolique des puzzles. Est-ce que le Blade Runner est un replicant? A vous de voir. Je ne sais pas. Je crois que oui mais... Qautre: le film date presque d’avant BC (before computers) mais vieillit mieux que n’importe quel Matrix. Moins un: la musique de Vangelis. Moins deux : no electric sheep. A ne pas manquer !